


meant

by raininginthestreets



Series: Original Angst [3]
Category: Original Work
Genre: Acceptance, Angst, Inspired by Music, Other, Pining, Unrequited Crush, Unrequited Love, Vignette
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-13
Updated: 2020-04-13
Packaged: 2021-02-26 17:41:34
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 312
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23637628
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/raininginthestreets/pseuds/raininginthestreets
Summary: More angst, a development, acceptance.Gathered inspiration from the song "Meant" by Zach Winters
Series: Original Angst [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1604281
Comments: 2
Kudos: 2





	meant

_ teach me your heart _

_ show me where to find _

_ all the secrets there _

_ the ones you know are mine _

I had a plan. I was going to tell you, finally, in some way. Words were never my strong suit, not with emotions. 

I made a playlist.

Hindsight, burning a CD for you wasn’t out of the norm. Every other month we gave each other a CD.

This February was supposed to be the playlist that told you.

We both made jokes. “No, my CD is gayer,” you said, grin in place and I _ hoped _. 

“You don’t understand,” I thought, a bit bitter. “And I don’t want you to.” It would be dangerous, now, if you finally saw the meaning behind my _ I love you _’s. 

You were with someone else.

So February passed without mention (you took me out for dinner, as a friend, of course). Between school and working and your new partner, we drifted.

We’re supposed to trade CD's again. 

I won’t use music. It didn’t work the first time.

And my words won’t matter.

You’re happy with her. Happier than I could have ever hoped to make you.

So I’ll stay here, your best friend. And I’ll move on, eventually.

Someday, maybe some time soon, I’ll make a playlist for someone else (except I _ won’t _ because that’s our thing) and I’ll send them poems sporadically through the day (even though they are meant only for you). My longing sighs for something unreachable will vanish from our interactions and I’ll pine for someone else. There will be other thoughts to disturb my rest.

I will move on. This will pass (_ it’s been three years since it started _) and I’ll live my life.

And if I don’t, and if it doesn’t, then I’ll pretend.

Like I do now. 

_ cause I was meant to love you _

_ the way you should be loved _

**Author's Note:**

> said playlist link is [here](https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLN2cLLXwoPvk3sRelpoRZ2ZpYkubB4niw)!


End file.
